XMAS is SAD

And by SAD I mean Season Affective Disorder, meaning I'm depressed 'cause I can't get no melatonin. It's hilarious that we think we can exist in this barren, frozen wasteland we call home. Shit doesen't grow, shit can't stay warm, shit doesen't start and shit don't get no exercise when it's -35! Like, WTF?? No wonder spray tans are so hot right now. Not only do you look like pale garbage in the winter, but your brain can't function and your body reacts by craving sweets and carbs. Well, just in time for "Christmas" I suppose.